Disclaimer:  the characters in the following story are not mine.  

Which really blows.  Well, I have to take credit for some of them, 

but most of them we all see on Tuesday nights, and I can't claim them.

Spoilers:  Up to season four of Buffy, and season one of Angel.  

Author's note:  It's kinda sad at the start, but it'll get better.

Betrayal

By Zetta Zofia

`````

Prologue 

Sunnydale, California

January 2002

`````

It had been two years since he'd seen her last, but he still knew 

much about her life, from talking to Cordelia, who regularly spoke 

with Willow and some of the others from Sunnydale.  He knew that she 

dated regularly.  She was doing excellently in all of her classes.  

She was involved in some sort of self defense class, teaching it, not 

taking it.  And he knew that she didn't have any steady boyfriends. 

And according to Willow, who told Cordelia not to tell him, but she 

did anyway, Buffy still loved him. 

Which made his return to Sunnydale as a human much more looked 

forward to. 

````

Buffy glanced around the halls of Sunnydale Community College with a 

sense of dread that surprised her.  She soon wouldn't have to go to 

school anymore.  She'd be on her own.  Free at last!  Free to go out 

and make a living. 

Things were very different from when she'd started college.  Maybe 

that was why she was dreading it?  She'd never been a big fan of 

change. 

Over the past four years, her mother had started really dating.  One 

night a year and a half ago, Buffy had been invited over to dinner.  

She'd been surprised to find Giles there, but she'd recovered 

quickly.  Then her mom dropped the bombshell.  She and Giles were 

getting married.  They'd been seeing each other on and off for almost 

three years. 

Really, Buffy had no problem with that.  As a matter of fact, she 

found it amusing. 

But in the year since they married, Joyce had gotten pregnant, and 

given birth to a baby boy, Buffy's brother, Tyler James Giles.  TJ 

for short.  He now lived in Buffy's old bedroom, and Buffy's things 

that didn't fit in her dorm, which she still shared with Willow, were 

stored in boxes in the basement. 

Xander had moved into an apartment after having gotten a job working 

for a real estate agent.  He'd discovered he had a knack for selling 

things, and started going to college with the hope that he'd be able 

to own his own agency when he finished.  

Anya had moved in with him, and she was employed at a library, 

telling stories.  People came to see her all the time, and she was 

gaining quite a reputation as a storyteller.   Of course, the people 

who visited her didn't know they were true stories, but…

Willow was studying to be a doctor, a brain surgeon nonetheless.  She 

was transferring to another college at the end of the semester, one 

that was better with medical sciences.  She'd broken up with Tara a 

year after they'd started dating, when Oz came back, fully cured of 

the wolf that had lived in him.  She and Tara had been arguing a bit 

too much for her tastes. 

Oz was studying part time for college, and traveling with the Dingoes 

the rest of the time.  He and Willow had discussed their future and 

decided to wait until Willow was done with college to get married.  

They had moved in together, but when Oz went away, Willow stayed at 

the dorm with Buffy. 

Buffy had changed the most.  She held a job at a local dojo, teaching 

self-defense classes to many of the students.  It paid well when 

there were customers, and it was good practice for slaying. 

She was studying to be a police officer, and currently loading up on 

criminal psychology type classes.  She also became good friends with 

the police chief, and he often directed her to good seminars and 

things for her to attend. 

As for her love life, she dated many men, but no one in particular. 

She'd broken up with Riley soon after they beat Adam.  He'd been 

upset about Angel, and when they used magic in the spell to stop 

Adam, he broke up with her, saying he needed time to think. 

She hadn't heard from him since.  Graham had told her he had his 

things sent to his hometown in Iowa. 

She hadn't had a serious boyfriend since. 

Buffy sighed as she exited the halls.  College would be over soon.  

She'd have to find a place to live, get a steady paying job (the dojo 

was nice, but they could only pay her when they had clients,) and 

somehow manage to continue slaying. 

As evil as the Initiative had been, they'd taken care of many of the 

demons and vampires that had plagued Sunnydale.  Now that they were 

gone, Buffy and the Scooby Gang were the only ones fighting.  And it 

was usually just Buffy.  The rest of the gang were getting involved 

in their lives… and reality that the rest of the world faced.  Sure, 

they chipped in when there was a big fight, but other than that… it 

wasn't fair for them to have to fight demons and monsters every 

night, then have to go get up in the morning and do things. 

But they were still there for her at the other important times. 

And that was what counted. 

Buffy shivered a little as a cold breeze came.  She pulled her 

sweater on tightly, rubbing her arms.  The spring was unusually cold, 

but…

Buffy frowned.  There was something else.  Something she hadn't felt 

in a while, in the pit of her stomach, a strange feeling…

She looked around, searching the campus for the reason she felt that 

way. 

A group of students on the lawn, laughing and talking, no, not them, 

nor the group of teachers that were walking towards the building. It 

wasn't the lone girl who sat looking around impatiently, or the man 

in black who was walking towards her who… Wait.  The man in black.  

Angel.  In the sunlight.  Looking at her.  Ringless.  Walking towards 

her. 

She stared at him, dumb with confusion.  He smiled a little at her as 

he stopped before her.  "Hi." 

 "Hi." She heard herself say.  Angel was here.  

 "You wanna go get some coffee?" he asked, smiling at her.  "Or one 

of those expensive mocha things you like? And I'll explain why I'm 

not dust right now." 

 "Are you gonna leave after you tell me?" Buffy asked trying not to 

sound as if she were about to faint in his arms.  Angel!  Angel! 

He smiled.  "No.  Well, I do have to go to LA to get some of my 

stuff, but after that, no." 

 "Sounds good." 

Angel smiled at her again.  A little unsure, he held his hand out 

towards her.  She ignored it and stepped closer to him, pulling his 

head down for a deep and passionate kiss. 

Then they went for coffee. 

`````

It was only two months later that he asked her to marry him. 

She said yes. 

By June first, she had found out she was pregnant, and told him. 

She'd never seen him quite that happy before. 

`````

July 16, 2002

Sunnydale, California

The fight was huge.  Demons were everywhere.  So were the people, 

most of them dead.  It was complete chaos. 

And Buffy was right in the middle of it, three and a half months 

pregnant.  Angel fought beside her, desperate to keep her and their 

child safe, but he was much weaker as a human, and the demons were 

particularly powerful this night. 

So when he was thrown against the wall of the destroyed high school, 

it was to Buffy's horror that he didn't get up.  And it was that 

horror that caused her to miss seeing the demon move behind her and 

shove a spear through her stomach.  "Angel!" she screamed, clutching 

her stomach, knowing too late to do anything that the spear hit her 

baby. 

Her screams of pain were drowned out by the explosion Willow's spell 

made as the Hellmouth was closed once more. 

It was almost an hour later before they got her to the hospital.  But 

it was too late to save the baby. 

`````

One week later

Angel walked into the bedroom Buffy was sleeping in, his face pale 

and his eyes clouded with worry and despair.  Buffy was devastated, 

he knew, that she'd lost the baby.  But the more horrible news to her 

was that she could no longer have any more children.  The demon's 

spear had hit something, and there was too much scar tissue for a 

baby to be able to live in her again. 

When she'd found out, she'd spent the next night sobbing hysterically 

into Angel's arms.  The next morning, the doctor had checked her out, 

and she and Angel had gone home to their little apartment.  The only 

time she'd spoken to someone besides a member of the Scooby gang was 

when she'd called the dojo she still worked at to tell them she was 

quitting.  She'd hung up before her boss could argue. 

 "Angel?" Buffy whimpered, turning in her sleep. 

Angel went to her side, and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. 

She'd never been this devastated before.  Angel knew she had been 

thrilled about the baby, despite everyone's initial concerns.  She'd 

seen it as their link.  The thing that symbolized their love more 

than anything. 

He had too.  

The demons that had attacked were prophesized in the Codex.  Giles 

hadn't seen it, and he blamed himself entirely for not being able to 

better prepare the group.  But he'd at least gotten them a little 

warning. 

Willow blamed herself for not having done the spell fast enough.  She 

figured that, if she had, Buffy never would have been injured.  She 

had saved Buffy's life, using her still new doctoring skills to keep 

Buffy alive. 

Angel blamed himself because he had been unconscious when it had 

happened.  He'd woken up to hear Buffy screaming and sobbing with 

pain as she lost the baby.  And there had been nothing he could do to 

help.  He hadn't been able to help her. 

Angel closed his eyes and held her hand.  He would have done anything 

to take that day back, to start over and fix it.  He'd even tried, 

going to the Oracles to beg for help.  They'd cast him out, 

saying, "It was meant to be." 

His child's death was meant to be. 

Meant to be. 

`````

One month later, August

It couldn't have been worse timing.  Willow and Oz both realized it, 

and they tried to hide it.  But every time their eyes met, Willow 

would start beaming, and Oz would get a proud and amazed look in his 

eyes. 

Buffy noticed it first.  She recognized the look in Oz's eyes as 

having come from Angel only a month earlier.  It sent her spiraling 

down in the slumps of misery once more.  But it wasn't until Angel 

and the rest of the group figured it out, that Buffy lost it. 

They'd all been sitting around the kitchen table at Joyce's house, 

talking merrily, and trying to keep things light. 

Willow was telling them about the college she was going to at the end 

of the week.  "So, I'll get a dorm room for first semester, but I 

probably won't end up using it most of the time, `cause of Oz, and 

then for the second semester, Oz and me and the baby will move into 

house… oh god." Her eyes widened as she realized what she said.  She 

looked at Oz, panicked, then at Buffy.

Everyone at the table stared at her for a moment.  "Baby?" Xander 

questioned incredulously.  "Wow, well, congratulations…" he trailed 

off as he followed Willow's guilty gaze to Buffy.  The slayer was 

staring at the center of the table.  She wasn't moving.

"Buffy, I'm sorry," Willow said, moving to stand up and go to her 

friend's side.  "I didn't mean…"

Buffy looked at her, looking kind of lost.  Then she jumped up and 

ran from the room.  Angel followed her, silent.

Willow stayed, half standing, as she stared after them.  "I was gonna 

wait to tell them… I didn't mean…"

"It's okay, baby," Oz said softly, taking her hand.  "She had to find 

out sooner or later."

"I know, but still…"

Xander sighed.  "I hope she's gonna be okay… I never realized how 

much that baby meant to her."

"Neither did I." Willow admitted in a whisper.  "I don't think even 

she did."

```` 

"I can't take this anymore." Buffy said quietly, standing ramrod 

straight with her back to Angel.  "I should be happy for her… she's 

my best friend.  But I'm not." She turned, tears falling from her 

eyes.  "You know what the first thing I thought of was when I 

realized she was pregnant?"  Angel shook his head slightly, not 

moving towards her because he knew if he did, she'd just move 

away.  "I wanted her to be the one who lost her baby.  I wanted my 

baby back.  And I can't have him."

"Buffy," he said quietly, moving towards her anyway.

She held her hand up, motioning for him to stop.  "Angel, please, 

don't try to comfort me, just listen." There was a pleading note in 

her voice that made him stop.  "I love you.  More than anyone else in 

the history of the world, I love you.  But right now, I can't stand 

to see you.  Every time I do, I can only think about my baby.  I 

can't do that anymore."

"Buffy-"

"Just stop, Angel." She said desperately.  "I just can't handle this 

anymore.  I can't stand always remembering the baby when I look at 

you.  Especially when I know we'll never have a chance to make 

another.  You were right when you left.  I do want children.  I want 

grand children, for Christ's sake.  And I can't have any of those!"

Angel felt very cold.  Colder than ever before.

"I just have to get away," she cried, turning away from him, then 

facing him again.  "I'm leaving Sunnydale for a while.  I don't know 

how long, or if I'll even come back… I just can't stay here…"

"Buffy, please," Angel said quietly, desperately.  But deep down 

inside, he knew.  He knew it was over for them.  And he would rather 

go to hell again than to have to see everything they'd wanted for so 

long end this way…

She looked at him, her eyes empty of anything but grief.  "I'm sorry 

Angel," she said softly.  "I just…"

She couldn't finish.  She turned away from him, and began walking.

"Buffy," he said quietly, but loud enough that she heard.  She 

stopped for a moment, then continued.  I'm sorry, my Angel.  So very 

sorry. 

`````

She left the next day on a plane.  No one knew where she went.

Angel was devastated.

`````

<b> Chapter One <b>

Sunnydale, California

January, 2017

Fifteen Years Later

"Summers get your ass in here!"

"Ooh, someone's in deep shit,"

Buffy glanced up from her desk, startled.  Her good friend on the 

police squad, James Reed, sat on the edge of her desk.  "I didn't do 

anything," she said immediately.

"The boss called ya." James said, shrugging.

Buffy sighed and saved her notes on her computer.  She'd been trying 

to figure out how an accused murder got from one place to another in 

the time he supposedly did.  She knew it wasn't right, but couldn't 

figure it out.  She also knew he was guilty as sin…

She made her way over to the captain's door, and knocked.  What the 

hell did he want?  The man hated her guts.  She wasn't sure why, 

either.

"Come on it, Summers." The captain called.

Buffy opened the door, and was slightly surprised to see another man 

sitting in one of the chairs in front of the chief's desk.  "Yes sir?"

"Come on in," the man behind the desk said smugly, eying her 

curiously.

Buffy glanced at the captain, and he nodded.  She came in, and shut 

the door behind her.

"Buffy Anne Summers. Born in 1982, LA.  Daughter of Joyce and Hank, 

step-daughter of Rupert Giles.  In high school, you were often in 

trouble with the authorities and your teachers.  In college, much of 

the same."  The man wasn't reading it.  He spoke coolly, looking 

directly at her.  Buffy straightened a little, studying the man.  

Tall, blond, and cocky.  He had a severe attitude, that one could see 

just looking at him.  "But most important," the man continued.  "You 

know this man."  He held up a color photo of a man in a tux, smiling 

at a camera.  Buffy froze, then forced herself to relax.  "Angel 

O'Connor."

"What about it?" Buffy said coldly.  She didn't like to think about 

him.  Or those times.  So much time had passed, but not nearly enough…

The man smirked and stood up.  He held his hand out, and Buffy 

automatically moved to shake his.  He surprised her by reaching to 

kiss the top of her hand in an old-fashioned manner.  Buffy didn't 

let him.  Instead, she twisted her hand and shook his.

The man smiled again.  "I'm Pete Bryan.  With the FBI."

Buffy studied him coolly.  "I'd introduce myself, but apparently I 

don't need to."

Pete looked at the captain patiently.  The man finally got it, and 

stood up.  "I'm gonna go get some coffee or something." He said, 

moving past them.  The door slammed shut behind him.  Buffy returned 

her gaze to Pete.  "Can I help you?"

The man smirked.  "You're being hired by the FBI for temporary 

assignment."

"What?"

"How do you like LA?"  Pete asked, ignoring her question.  "You leave 

tomorrow."

"Excuse me?"

Pete gestured towards the chairs.  "Have a seat.  This might take a 

while."

````` 

Chapter Two

Willow walked into Buffy's apartment, whistling softly.  Behind her, 

Daniel and Elizabeth, her two children, followed, giggling about 

something. "Hey, Buff?  We're here."

Buffy came out of her little office, wiping her hands on her 

pants.  "Hey Will," she said tersely, kneeling down to get hugs from 

the kids.

Willow frowned.  "Danny, Liz, say hi to Aunt Buffy and go play 

outside."

"I don't wanna play," Liz whined.  "I wanna sit with Aunt Buffy."  

She hurried over to her aunt, her arms wide.

"I need to talk to your mom for a while," Buffy said, hugging the 

child.  Danny was too cool to give and get hugs.  That disappointed 

Buffy.  She loved these kids like they were her own.  They were the 

closest she'd ever get to kids, so…

Liz groaned.  "Come on, Danny Boy. We'll go play cops and robbers.  I 

get to be the robber!"

Buffy watched as her honorary niece and nephew ran outside to play.

"What's going on, Buffy?  I came as soon as I got off work."

Buffy gave her friend a frazzled smile.  "You want some coffee?"

"Of course." Willow said as she sat down at the counter in the airy 

kitchen.  "You know I live on it."  As always, Willow had to look up 

when she had seated herself.  There was a huge skylight above them, 

and the light lit up everything, and the sun always felt so good...  

Buffy hurried to pour a cup of coffee for her best friend.  "Now, 

what happened?  What's the big rush?"

Buffy concentrated on the cup as she poured.  Pete had told her she 

couldn't tell anyone what was going on, and he had concocted a story 

for her to tell her friends.  "I'm going to LA tomorrow.  For a month 

or so, I don't know for sure how long."  Willow gaped at her.  Buffy 

continued.  "If I do this job right, it's an undercover thing, I'll 

get a promotion.  And a raise."

"What are you gonna be doing?" Willow asked, amazed.  "Is it 

dangerous?"

"Not really," Buffy said.  Physically anyway.  My heart might break, 

but hey.  Gotta handle this.  No one else would understand.   She 

sighed to herself.  Pete had given her a choice.  She either did this 

and got a big raise and promotion, or she got canned.  And she needed 

this job.  She needed to be putting bad guys away in jail.  It was 

part of her.  She wasn't the Slayer anymore, hadn't been since she 

was thirty, and she'd been unable to dust the vamps.  So she had to 

keep this job, or go crazy.

Even if that meant she had to face Angel again.

Over the past few years, Angel had evidently become quite a 

businessman.  He was worth several million, possibly a billion.  But 

the FBI was suspicious of him.  He had been non-existent up until 

2002, and now he was making money left and right, on several risky 

business ventures.  Then, a while ago, one of his employees had been 

fired.  The employee had gone to the police, saying that Angel was 

illegally gambling on the stock market.

Buffy knew that this wasn't true.  And, out of the love she still 

felt for him, she had to prove it.  She had taken the day off of work 

to think about her new situation, and she'd realized she had to help 

him.  She hadn't seen Angel in fifteen years.  Or rather, since she'd 

broken up with him.  She'd tried to convince Pete that Angel wouldn't 

want to see her, but he was convinced that she was wrong.

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment.  Maybe she should think about 

this some more… maybe she should just stay home, and continue 

ignoring him, like she'd done for the past years.  

"If he's guilty," Pete had said gleefully, "We'll nail the hell out 

of him."

"And if he's not?" Buffy had questioned.

Pete snorted.  "He's guilty all right.  We just need proof that he's 

doin' something wrong."

Buffy had stayed silent and let him continue on.  But her mind was 

lost.  She didn't believe he was guilty.  Not for a split second.

"Tomorrow?" Willow questioned again.

Buffy nodded.  "I know it's really short notice and all, but… hey, 

gotta go with it."  I've got to prove him innocent.  Or else.  "Can 

you take over watering the plants and stuff?"

"Of course," Willow said.  She frowned.  Buffy was hiding something.  

She was a great cop, and good at undercover stuff, but she couldn't 

lie to her friends.  "What's really going on?" she asked suspiciously.

Buffy had her back to her.  She prepared for a moment, then turned 

around, her face looking appropriately innocent, but not too 

innocent.  "I can't really give details on this one.  But it'll be a 

big case."

"Ooh, famous people?"  Willow questioned, believing her.

Buffy considered this.  Pete had said that Angel was somewhat 

famous.  "Sort of."

"Are you gonna be on TV or something while you're doing this? `Cause 

if you are, the kids'll want to see it."

"Probably not," Buffy assured her.  "But I'm not too sure."

"Wow," Willow breathed.  "That's so cool."

`````

Chapter Three

LA California

Angel Investigations

January, 2017

"Doyle, I need that fax from John in the Bahamas,"

"Hang on, Cordy.  I gotta go find Angel and tell him about the new 

case."

"Do that later.  I need the fax, and you're staring at it right now."

Doyle glanced at the paper in his hands.  "Oh.  I guess I am."  He 

handed it to his wife, kissing her quickly.

"Where is Angel, anyway?" Cordy questioned, looking up from her 

cluttered desk.

"Talking with the board of directors." Doyle answered.

Cordy rolled her eyes.  "What a surprise.  They're all assholes.  He 

should just buy them out.  He's got the money." She sighed and stood 

up.  "The photographer's gonna meet me downstairs in fifteen minutes, 

and I need to give this to him."

"Okay.  You picking up the kids today?" Doyle questioned, following 

his wife out of her office.  He paused in the doorway, admiring his 

wife of so many years.  The years had been good to her, and at thirty 

five years old, she didn't look it.

"Yeah.  I'm gonna bring them over to Angel's house so they can visit 

their uncle."

"Didn't you say something about Christopher having soccer practice?" 

Angel questioned, joining them.

Cordelia glanced out the window, eying the rainy weather with a 

resigned air.  "They won't practice in the rain."

Angel followed her gaze, amused.  "I guess not.  Tell Chris he can't 

bring his soccer ball in here again."

Cordy winced.  "He was so sorry about the mess he made.  He nearly 

cried, but Doyle convinced him you liked it better that way."

Angel shrugged, amused.  "I did.  That was an atrocity."

Doyle grinned.  "See?  I told ya it wasn't a lie."

"An atrocity worth a million," Cordy sighed.  "I'll see you later."

"Bye hun," Doyle said, giving her a quick kiss.

"Bye Cordy," Angel said, smiling at his longtime friend and employee.

Doyle and Angel faced each other. "Did you get it?" Doyle asked 

hopefully.

Angel pulled a jewelry box out of his pocket.  "Got it."

Doyle took it, grinning widely.  "Perfect," he said, eying the 

necklace happily. "Delia will love it."

"She'll be shocked that you picked it out," Angel teased as they 

resumed walking.

Doyle glanced at him.  "I have good taste."

Angel looked amused.  "Doesn't Cordelia still take you clothes 

shopping?"

Doyle winced.  "Well, yeah, but…"

Angel just shook his head.

`````

Later that night, Angel sat in a huge chair in front of the 

fireplace, watching the fire.  Lost in thought, his gaze drifted to 

the pictures on the mantel.  He regretted it immediately as his gaze 

rested on a picture of him and Buffy, taken in the days before the 

big battle.  He looked away immediately, feeling a pang go through 

him.  She was gone.  He hadn't heard from her since she left him.  

After a while, he'd stopped hoping, and started avoiding her.  Not 

that she had been searching him out, or anything, but he'd stopped 

going places where they might run into each other.

He sighed and looked at the photo again.  They'd gone to the beach 

that day, the first time for him as a human.  It had been wonderful.  

The whole gang had gone, and Willow had thought to bring a camera.  

Down the beach from them, they had watched a group of surfers.  Then 

they'd gone and had a picnic lunch.  Buffy had been probably one 

month pregnant at that point.

Angel closed his eyes.  Fifteen years had passed since he'd seen her 

last.  Since she'd broken his heart.

Of course, he'd broken her heart several times, but it seemed that 

this had hurt more than anything else.  Even when he'd left her.  At 

least then he hadn't really harbored any false hopes and expectations 

about going back to her.  In those days, he'd been a vampire, with a 

cursed soul.  There was really no choice about going back to her.

But the last time….

Angel opened his eyes again.  He didn't want to think about it.

He hadn't thought about it since Cordelia and Doyle had their kids, 

and Wesley moved to the other side of LA to begin hunting demons on 

his own again.  He hadn't let himself.

And he wouldn't start now.

`````

Chapter Three

Sunday, the next day

Buffy climbed out of the cab slowly, looking at the building in front 

of her nervously.

She hadn't been in these offices since Thanksgiving, eighteen years 

ago.  It had changed.  It was eerie almost; it was so different 

without actually being… noticeably different. It was hard to 

explain.  The building had become… used.  And new.

Buffy couldn't help but wonder what kind of man Angel had become to 

work in such a place.

````` 

Exhausted from his workout, but not really minding, Angel toweled off 

the water that remained on him from his shower, and stepped into his 

bedroom to get dressed.

He had just slipped a shirt on when the buzzer to his apartment 

rang.  Angel frowned, glancing at the clock.  It was still kind of 

early.  Most visitors around here didn't show up until ten o'clock or 

so.  He moved over to the wall panel by the elevator and pressed the 

intercom button.  "It's Angel, who is this?"

````` 

Buffy stared at the speaker, suddenly afraid.  What if he didn't want 

to see her?  What if he told her to fuck off?  It wasn't like she 

didn't deserve it.  "Um, Angel.  It's Buffy.  Buffy Summers."

For a long time there was silence.  Then a buzzer sounded, and the 

door opened.  Buffy glanced at the panel again, then stepped inside, 

wiping her sweaty palms on the black linen skirt she wore.  She 

glanced around uneasily as she saw the hallway before her.  Then she 

started down it.  Just as she reached the end of it, the door opened, 

and she came face to face with the man she'd left fifteen years 

before.

`````

Angel had to fight with himself so he wouldn't stare at her.    She 

was doing the same.  He couldn't work his mouth properly.  When she'd 

said her name, he hadn't believed her at first.  He'd had to check 

the security cameras to believe it.  But now, he could say for 

certain, that she was definitely Buffy.  The Buffy Anne Summers he 

had loved, even as a vampire.

Buffy couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes for a long 

moment.  "Hi." She said finally.

Angel finally managed to meet her gaze.  "That's about the last thing 

I expected you to say."  He was having a hard time breathing 

right.  "What are you doing here?"  

"I'm sorry, I-"

"It's a little late for sorry." Angel snapped.  He regretted it 

immediately, especially when he saw the pain flash across her face.  

She hid it quickly, and managed to look a little ashamed.

"I know." Buffy said quietly.  "I meant I was sorry for not calling 

and giving you a warning."  Uncomfortable to the extreme, Buffy 

looked away from him, then back.  "I've um, well…" she sighed.  "I 

need to talk to you."

Angel just looked at her for a long moment, considering.  Then he 

stepped out of the doorway and motioned for her to go in.

`````

Buffy looked around Angel's apartment, and felt an odd twinge go 

through her.  It was still mostly the same, with a few new pieces and 

a little different arrangement, but other than that, very much like 

she'd seen it last.  But now, on the mantle, there were pictures of 

Wesley, Cordelia, Doyle, and their three kids.  There were no 

pictures of the Sunnydale gang.  There was one picture that was laid 

down so you couldn't see it, but she didn't touch it.

Angel studied the trim form of the woman he'd loved, dispassionate 

now that he'd gotten over the initial shock of seeing her.  She was 

still young and healthy looking, even if she looked a little older.  

She didn't look old… just wiser.  She wore her hair so it was in 

curls.  The curls rested on her shoulders, and the sleeves of the 

white top she wore.  And she had a scar along the bottom of her cheek 

that was visible from behind her.

She looked beautiful.  Incredibly so.  But he couldn't let himself 

get caught up in thinking that way.  "Why are you here, Buffy?"  It 

hurt to say her name out loud.

She stiffened a little, then turned around again, facing him.  He was 

leaning against a pillar, his arms crossed in front of him.  The 

vulnerability that had been on his face when he'd first seen her had 

disappeared, and he'd built up walls around him, no doubt trying to 

keep her from wounding him again.  As for the rest of him… he still 

aged wonderfully, even as a human.  His shoulders were broad and his 

stomach was still thin.  His hair was still dark, and styled in the 

spiky way she'd always loved.  He'd obviously changed it at one 

point, because on one of the pictures on the mantel, he'd had longer 

hair.  His eyes were the most different.  Gone was the broodingly 

gorgeous but tortured look, it had been replaced with a strong, but 

mysterious air that made Buffy want to just… no, no thinking like 

that, Buffy scolded herself mentally.  What had he asked?  Oh yeah, 

why she was here.  She licked her lips nervously.  "I came here to 

make things right." She said quietly, truthfully.  That was part of 

the reason she'd taken the job.  Angel stiffened, and she hurried to 

continue before he told her to get out.  "I was wrong.  I was so 

upset about the baby, that I couldn't think about anything else."  

She took a long breath.  "I know… I know it's too late for any of 

this… but I had to try." She didn't look at him.  These words were 

true.  She did want to make things right between them.  Even though 

she was also here for something else.  She dared to look at him and 

saw that he hadn't moved.  Suddenly, she couldn't stand it 

anymore.  "Just… just forget it.  I'll just leave."  She started 

towards the door, unable to look at him again, cursing Pete and his 

precious FBI for getting her here.  She'd just tell them to find 

someone else.  "I'm sorry for bothering you," she murmured as she 

walked past him.

"Buffy, wait." Angel said quietly.  She stopped, hesitating, but not 

turning around.  Angel studied her from behind for a long moment.  He 

still loved her, he realized with no small dismay.  But that wasn't 

important for the moment.  "I think…" He sighed a little.  "We still 

need to talk.  Do you wanna go get coffee or something?" he managed 

to ask it in a tone of voice that made Buffy feel like it would be a 

business meeting or something.  But something was better than 

nothing.  

Still very hesitant, she turned around.  "Sure.  I mean, I guess if 

you want to…"

`````

They ended up talking for hours at the place.  Buffy was sure that 

she'd had more coffee than she'd ever had in her life, and she was 

positive that it was the same way for Angel.  They had caught up on 

each other's lives, and they had talked about anything and everything 

under the moon.  It was like they'd never been separated, their 

connection was still so strong.

She was also convinced that she still loved him.  Loved him more than 

she ever had, even when he'd been human so many years before.  And 

that was not good.

Studying Angel from across the table, she knew that it was not good 

at all…

Little did she know that it was the same for Angel.  Only more 

painful, as he remembered the pain from her leaving…

``````

He walked her up to her door.  She hadn't really expected it, but was 

charmed by it.  He knew that she had once been the Slayer and could 

still kick any mugger's ass, but he walked her all the way up to her 

hotel suite.  They didn't kiss or anything before he left, but the 

electricity was still there.

Instead, he just smiled a little at her, and went back down the 

stairs.

Buffy closed the door behind her and went over to the couch.  Then 

she sat down and stared off into space, lost in memories for much of 

the night.

And Angel drove all over LA, also lost in thought.

`````

When Angel finally returned to his home late that night, the 

answering machine was blinking.  Automatically, Angel hit play, and 

went over to the refrigerator, pulling out a coke as he listened.  He 

winced at the first message.

"Hi, darling," Jennifer Walker drawled.  "I haven't seen you since 

our date last week.  I'm bored and lonely, love, why don't you call 

me?" She made a kissing noise that Angel had always hated.  "Bye-bye, 

love."  Angel had gone out with the woman a few times, and she 

apparently decided that his bank account was large enough to meet his 

standards.

He rolled his eyes a little and listened to the next message.

"Angel, where are you?" Cordelia demanded, annoyed.  "We were 

supposed to meet for dinner, like we have for the past how many 

years.  Call me when you get back so I can scream, holler, and yell 

at you without the kids around."

She hung up, and Angel winced again.  He'd forgotten about that.  He 

was supposed to meet them every Sunday at his apartment, where he 

would make dinner for them, and then play with his honorary nieces 

and nephews.

The next two messages were business associates.  Angel barely 

noticed.  Once he realized they weren't really important, his mind 

was on Buffy again.  He stripped off his shirt and pants and pulled 

on a pair of sweatpants, and began stretching.  Then he began working 

out like he hadn't done in a long time. The exercise cleared his mind.

`````

Chapter Four

Cordelia entered Angel's apartment, worried.  "Angel, are you here?" 

she called.  

He emerged from his bathroom, dressed only in a towel.  "Cordy,"

"Where have you been, Angelus Liam O'Connor?" Cordelia demanded, 

furious.  "We were supposed to be here at three o'clock.  It's eight 

o'clock now!"

Angel just waited for her to finish her rant, stepping back into the 

bedroom to pull on a clean pair of pants again.  She didn't seem to 

notice, and followed him in there.  "Jesus, Cordelia," he snapped, 

yanking up his pants.  "Sorry, I got distracted.  I had…" he 

hesitated, not wanting to mention her name, knowing that Cordelia 

would be furious.  "An unexpected guest show up."

"Was it Jennifer?" Cordelia questioned hopefully.  "Because I know 

she's only after your money, but you need a girlfriend, really badly."

Angel rolled his eyes and pulled a shirt over his head.  "Cordelia…" 

he started to deny it, but decided that would just make it more 

trouble than it was worth.  "It's not your business."

She smirked.  "Well, I'm still angry with you.  The kids were driving 

me nuts today, `cause they were expecting to play with you.  You got 

all three, especially Francis and Christopher excited about playing 

hide and seek in the offices, and Sarah's been wanting to play on the 

computers."

Angel looked at her, amused.  "Tell them they can come in tomorrow 

after work."

Cordelia raised an eyebrow.  "You have a meeting."

"Oh.  Well, Tuesday then."

"You've got a meeting everyday this week."

And he'd made plans to meet with Buffy tomorrow, anyway.  "Well, I'll 

make it up to them this weekend," he promised.  "But right now, I 

need to catch up on some work."

She sighed.  "Fine."  She pulled on her jacket again.  "I'll be here 

in the morning, okay?"

"Bye, Cordelia," Angel said patiently.  He waited until she was 

upstairs.  "Lock up when you're done," he called.

He waited until he heard the door close, then flipped on the alarm 

system.  Then he went into the bedroom and laid down on the bed.  He 

didn't fall asleep for a long, long time.

`````

Buffy laid in bed, her eyes closed and all the lights out, thinking 

about her and Angel's situation.

She also didn't fall asleep for a long time.

`````

Monday after work and his meeting, Angel pushed Cordelia and Doyle 

out the door.  Buffy was due in a few minutes.  He'd planned on 

picking her up, but she'd told him she would be in the area running 

errands, so he wouldn't need to.  Angel hurried downstairs to change 

into something more comfortable, and to get rid of his tie.  That was 

the worst part of being successful.  He had to wear one of those 

damned noses.  

Angel caught himself.  He was trying to keep distracted from thinking 

about Buffy.

A buzzer sounded.  He looked at the clock.  It was her.

`````

Buffy nervously waited outside of Angel's door.  She was so worried.  

And nervous.  And afraid.  And excited.

And in all honesty, she had no idea what she was doing.  But 

yesterday, seeing Angel… it felt so right.  

"Yeah?" Angel's voice came over the intercom, startling her.

"It's me," Buffy said, smiling.

"Come on it," he said as he unlocked the doors.

He met her halfway.  "Hi." He said, uncomfortable now.

"Hi." She was just as uneasy.

"Okay, well, do you want to go to dinner?"  Angel asked, wiping his 

sweaty hands on his pant leg.  He silently cursed himself.  He was 

acting like a boy on his first date.

He hadn't been a boy for two hundred years, and it was far from his 

first date.  It wasn't even a date.  It was… a meeting, between 

friends.  Or something.  "Son of a bitch."

"What?" Buffy looked at him, confused the words.  

He looked at her, startled.  "Oh, nothing.  So, dinner?"

"Yeah, that sounds great." Buffy agreed.

"Great,"

`````

Chapter Five

It was in a charming little restaurant where they fell in love 

again.  They'd been talking for hours, about what they'd done over 

the past years, and their friends, and anything else they liked.  

They shared a bottle of wine, a medium priced bottle that actually 

tasted good.  And then, as Angel refilled her glass, their hands 

touched.  Both of them just stared at the touching hands for a long 

moment.  Then, they looked up and their eyes met.

And no more words were said.

`````

Whether or not it was smart, neither one cared.  Somehow, they ended 

up at Angel's apartment, and in his bed.  It was the most pleasurable 

night either had had in a long time.

As they lay in bed early in the morning, both were awake.  Buffy had 

her head resting in the crook of his arm, and her eyes were half-

closed.  His free hand played with a strand of her hair.  "It'll be 

different this time." Buffy said quietly, very serious.

Angel gazed down at her, a smile on his face.  "It will."

She looked up at him.  "I mean it," she promised.  She 

sighed.  "We've both changed, a lot.  I don't know if that's good or 

not, but it will make things different.  And it will make things 

better."

"I know."  He ran his hand down her arm.  "We'll just have to work 

harder to figure out each other's little quirks."

"Oh god, I'm doomed," she groaned, sitting up in the bed and pulling 

the sheet modestly around her.  He tossed a pillow at her.  She 

caught it and set it aside.  Then she grabbed it again and lay down, 

pushing it underneath her so she was propped up as she looked at him.

Angel gazed at her for a long time, until she eventually fell 

asleep.  He couldn't help but to feel like he was the luckiest man on 

the earth.

`````

They both slept in.  Angel had woken up at his normal time, but after 

seeing his lover's face, and the way she smiled up at him, he hadn't 

been able to make himself leave the bed.  So when his employees 

started arriving upstairs, he was still in bed.

`````

Cordelia frowned as she looked in Angel's office.  "He's not in here, 

Doyle,"

"He's probably still sleeping," her half-demon husband said, 

unconcerned.

Cordelia sighed.  "Last time he wasn't up here in the morning, he 

went out patrolling the night before, and he got his ass kicked."

Doyle looked at her.  "Uh-huh."

"We should check on him."

"He's a grown man, Delia.  I think he can handle himself."

Cordelia sighed at him, an effective move that usually inspired him 

to get moving.  Today was no different.  "Fine, fine, I'll go check."

"I'll go with you," Cordelia said brightly.

"Oh, there's a surprise,"

``````

"I like this," Buffy murmured, curled up next to Angel.  "Very much."

"Good," Angel said, feeling her running her fingers over his 

chest.  "Shall we do this again?" he asked lightly, teasing.

"Oh, I think so," Buffy said dryly.  "Although, I'll have to check my 

schedule first."

"Lemme know if you find anything that's stopping you," Angel murmured.

"Angel?"

Buffy and Angel both stiffened hearing the voice coming from the 

other room.  Angel muttered a curse and sat up, grabbing his robe 

from the end f the bed and pulling it on.  He gave Buffy an 

apologetic look and made his way out to the front room.

Cordelia eyed her disheveled looking boss and winced.  It was rather 

obvious what he'd been doing all night.  "Oops, sorry." She said 

lightly. Then she frowned.  "Wait, who is it?"

Angel looked at her, annoyed.  "Cordelia.  Go upstairs."  He looked 

at Doyle, who was watching his wife with amusement.  "Take her 

upstairs, okay?"

"Not until I know who it is." Cordelia said primly.

Angel looked at her.

She sighed.  "Fine, tell me later."

Angel watched in silence as the two made their way upstairs.  Buffy 

came out of the bedroom, dressed in one of Angel's much-larger-than-

her shirts.  He smiled at her.  "You want to stay for breakfast?"

She looked regretfully at him.  "I don't think that's really a good 

idea.  I mean, if Cordelia comes down again, or something…"

Angel sighed.  

She grinned wickedly at him.  "Wanna help me take a shower?  I have a 

hard time reaching my back…"

`````

Cordelia forgot her lipstick in the car.  They had a client coming in 

a few minutes, and she needed to look her best.  Swearing lightly, 

she hurried out to the SUV that she and Doyle shared.  After she 

grabbed it, she glanced out the window.  She smirked as she saw Angel 

and an unknown woman walking out to one of the unfamiliar cars parked 

near the door.  She watched as the woman climbed in the car, then she 

and Angel exchanged a long, long, kiss, then they talked for a few 

moments, Angel wearing a somewhat goofy grin on his face.

Cordelia raised an eyebrow as the couple kissed again, then Angel 

backed off and the woman pulled away.  

Then Cordelia moved in to strike.  "Hi, Angel," she said sweetly, 

approaching her boss.

He turned, startled and wary.  "Cordelia."

"You wanna tell me who your girlfriend is?"

`````

Chapter Six

Buffy was elated.  She hadn't felt so good in so long…

She sped down the streets of LA, moving towards the hotel with 

distracted ease.  She was so happy that they'd finally worked things 

out… That thought startled her back into reality.  She hadn't done 

this only because she wanted to make things better.  She had done it 

so she could investigate him.  Yes, she was trying to prove him 

innocent, but it was still under false pretenses.

Even if she really did want to make it right between them.

Buffy pulled into the garage beneath her hotel.  She didn't move from 

the car for a long time.  

`````

Cordelia and Doyle watched in silence as Angel stared of into space.  

They both knew that their new and relaxed boss was due to his new 

girlfriend, but both were somewhat worried.  They'd been his friends 

for a very long time.  He had never, ever been so relaxed, and 

especially not due to a woman.  Except that one mistake, fifteen or 

so years earlier.

And both of them were afraid that he would get hurt again.  For so 

long he had avoided dating and women in general, but now he had a 

mysterious girlfriend, a new attitude, and Cordelia and Doyle were 

afraid he would get hurt again.

`````

Angel stared out the window in his office, well aware of Cordelia and 

Doyle who were watching him.  He didn't really care.  It had been a 

week since he and Buffy had been reunited, and every night since 

then, they'd been together.  She would spend the night with him, and 

in the morning there would be the normal race to get out before 

Cordelia showed up.  They'd both agreed they didn't want to tell 

anyone yet, due to the fact that they were starting over again.

But last night, they'd agreed that they needed to tell Cordelia and 

Doyle about their new relationship.  So they'd made plans to meet for 

dinner that night, and the following night to meet with Cordy and 

Doyle.

Buffy and Angel were quite worried about their reactions, but both 

knew that it really didn't matter.

They were past the point where other people's opinions mattered.

`````

Chapter Seven

Buffy smiled as she saw her reflection in the mirror for the first 

time since she'd donned her new dress.  She looked fabulous, if she 

did say so herself.  Angel would flip when he saw her.  And then 

they'd go back to his place…

The phone rang before she could put the final touches on her makeup.

She grabbed it and answered with a sigh.  "Hello?"

"It's Pete Bryan, Ms. Summers."

Buffy's blood ran cold.  She sat down on the edge of the bed 

again.  "Yeah."

"I take it you've made contact?"

"Yes." Buffy's voice was cold.  "I have."

"Excellent.  Any luck on finding anything?"

"No." Buffy hugged herself, trying to ward off the sudden chill she 

felt.  "I haven't."

"Well, just remember, you can't actually go searching for anything," 

Pete Bryan reminded her.  "It has to be laying out in the open."

"I know," Buffy snapped.  She had no search warrant for anything, so 

she couldn't be searching for anything.  Good or bad.  "Look, I'm 

meeting him tonight, and I've got to get ready."

"Oh?  Where at?"

"I don't know," Buffy answered sharply.  "He's surprising me."

Pete nodded a little, detecting the unusual note in the girl's 

voice.  "All right.  I'll call you tomorrow."

"Bye." Buffy hung up the phone and stared into the mirror.  She was 

no longer smiling.

`````

Angel waited impatiently for the car in front of him to get moving.  

The woman who was driving was a ditz, and that was all there was to 

it.  Swearing under his breath, he passed her.  She flipped him the 

finger, and he sighed.  Then he sped up a little more, speeding down 

the expressway towards Buffy's hotel.

At the rate the rest of the world was moving, he was gonna be late.

`````

Chapter Eight

That night, they chatted about their friends for a long time, before 

getting around to anything serious.  Like what to do about Cordy and 

Doyle.  "I don't like having to keep secrets from them." Angel said 

as he sipped some of his wine.  Their hands were intertwined and 

rested on the little bit of the booth in between them.

Buffy nodded.  "I know."  She sighed and took a long drink from her 

own wine.  

"I think I should probably tell them." Angel said thoughtfully, 

quietly. "I don't want them to just be surprised seeing you or 

anything."

Buffy nodded, thanking every god she'd ever heard of that he didn't 

want her around to do that.  He saw her look, but didn't comment.  It 

was still a touchy subject for them, their breakup, and he really 

didn't feel like getting into it.  And they both knew that it would 

come up if they told anyone else.

With a sigh, Angel sat back in the chair.  "Tomorrow, I've got a 

meeting all night, Tuesday's Chris's big soccer game."  He noticed 

she was smiling at him.  "What?"

"Big meeting?  Soccer game?" she shook her head a little, amused.  "I 

never pictured you… like this."

He shrugged a little.  "I've been human for almost twenty years, 

Buffy.  I had to adjust eventually."

She flinched a little and looked down at her hands.

He sighed.  "I didn't mean that in the way in came out."

She sighed too.  "And I still don't know what I meant," she admitted, 

rolling her eyes.  "I'm still Buffy, the girl who just talks."

He grabbed her hand, holding it from across the table.  "I like you 

that way."

She smiled, leaning forward.  He leaned forward too, so their lips 

were almost touching.  "I guess that's a good thing then, hmm?" she 

questioned.

"Very," he agreed quietly, and then they exchanged a brief kiss.

It would have gone on longer, except they both heard someone gasp, 

and drew apart, looking up guiltily.

Cordelia and Doyle, surprised expressions on their faces, stood 

watching them, a maitre dé (sp?) standing with them and looking 

uncomfortable.

"What's going on?" Cordelia managed finally, glaring at Buffy.  She 

looked to Angel, and the ex vampire's smile had completely faded.  He 

looked to the man behind the other couple and motioned for him to 

leave.  Nodding, the man slipped away.  

Cordelia crossed her arms.  "How long has this been going on, Angel?" 

she demanded, facing the man who was her employer.

"Sit down," he said quietly, sliding around so he sat next to Buffy 

and Cordelia and Doyle could sit next to him, and not Buffy.

Clearly furious, Cordelia let Doyle get in first.

Buffy couldn't bring herself to look up for more than a few seconds.

"Well?" Cordelia demanded, glaring at Buffy.  

"Barely a week." Angel said calmly.  

"And you didn't think we should know?" Doyle questioned.  It was a 

rare day when he got angry about something, but this was one of those 

days.

"I don't think it's any of your business." Angel said simply.

Cordelia turned her glare towards him.  "How can you even say that?  

We're your best friends, Angel.  Have been for years.  How could you 

not tell us this?"

"I asked him not to," Buffy said quietly, finally looking up to meet 

their gazes.  "Angel and I needed time to work out everything before 

we just told everybody."

"I didn't ask you." Cordelia snapped.  She stood up, sliding out of 

the booth.  "When you're ready to explain this to me without her 

around, let me know.  Until then, don't expect to see me at work."

Doyle studied his boss for a long moment, then the blond girl who sat 

next to him, looking so tired.  "Same goes," he said quietly, and 

stood up, leaving with his wife.

And Buffy and Angel sat there in silence for a long time afterwards.

`````

The next morning, Angel apologized to Cordelia and Doyle.  

And he took them out to breakfast and explained his reasons.  Neither 

was happy about it, but they both accepted it.  And made arrangements 

for Buffy to come with him to dinner on the next night.

`````

The kids went into the rec room immediately after dinner, a sign that 

they knew their mother was angry.  When the doors closed behind them, 

and the TV flipped on, the air got even thicker with tension.  All 

attempts of politeness disappeared when the maid left the room after 

clearing dishes.

"Angel explained to us why he didn't tell us about you two." Cordelia 

said coolly, her eyes flickering around the room for a moment before 

they stopped on Buffy.  "And I understand that.  I know that I'm not 

taking this very well, and I'm still very angry about all of this.  

But, I'm willing to put this behind me." She leaned forward in her 

chair a little.  "But I want you to know something, first of all.  We 

are his family, now.  You hurt him, you deal with us.  You look at 

him the wrong way, and I will kick your Slayer ass to China."  Angel 

sat back in his chair, choosing to stay silent and let the two women 

battle it out.  It was just plain dangerous to do otherwise.

Buffy nodded, meeting Cordelia's gaze.  "I need to apologize to you 

two." She looked at Doyle for a moment.  "My behavior last time I saw 

you was horrible, and there's really no excuse for any of it."

Cordelia raised an eyebrow.  "That's not the bad part, Buffy.  It got 

bad when, not only did you just abandon all of us, you never made any 

attempt to contact Angel or me.  That hurt more than any of the rest 

of it, and it pissed me off." She raised her hand, stopping Buffy 

from saying anything.  "But, I'm over that now."  She looked at 

Doyle.  "Anything else, honey?"

Doyle studied the blond girl who sat across from Angel, and shook his 

head.  "Covers my end of it."

Cordelia nodded.  "Good.  Then tomorrow, Buffy and I are going 

shopping."

`````

Chapter Nine

It had been two weeks since then, and Buffy and Angel were going 

strong.  They spent every night together, every morning together.  

They were always touching, and if Cordelia hadn't been so annoyed, 

she would have thought it was sweet.  But she was annoyed.  Angel was 

even more distracted nowadays than he had been when he was keeping it 

a secret.

But, she tried to ignore it, and concentrated on other things.

Buffy, while her mind was always running, thinking about Angel, she 

was also plagued with guilt about the real reason she was there. 

Somehow, she managed to hide it from Angel though, and they remained 

the happy, if very unsure, couple.  

But their love life was good going, at least in bed.  Out of bed, it 

was another story.  They talked, they laughed, and on the outside, it 

seemed perfect.  To them, it seemed perfect.  But it wasn't.

Neither of them ever said anything about it, but they both knew what 

they were missing.  Neither of them had ever dared to utter the three 

words that they'd said so easily years before.

It was a Friday night and they had just finished dinner and were 

lounging about in the front room of the apartment.  Both were half 

asleep, having spent much of the day at an amusement park, doing 

things Buffy had dreamed about doing years before when they'd been 

together.  As simple as seeing Angel buying cotton candy for her, it 

brought her an incredible amount of happiness just to see him doing 

such simple things.  He'd been willing to humor her several times, 

and so she now had in her possession a huge pink elephant, an 

adorable little stuffed monkey, and half a bag of cotton candy.

She was thrilled about it.  He was half asleep, not in the least bit 

interested in watching the movies she'd rented, "Simply Irresistible" 

and "Pretty Woman".

She pulled the blanket over them and curled up closer to him, smiling 

as she watched Julia Roberts onscreen.  "Comfy?" she questioned, 

amused as he shifted her around.

"Yeah," he murmured, still sleepy.  "I love you."

Buffy froze, hearing those words.  That wasn't right.  He couldn't 

have just said that.

He didn't seem to notice her reaction, and shifted a little, his eyes 

closed.  He probably didn't even know he'd said it, she realized, 

closing her eyes.  But he had.  The words cut through every barrier 

she'd tried to put up against him.  It was true, she knew.  She knew 

it scientifically and in her heart.  People were more likely to tell 

the truth when they were half asleep like he was, instead of lying 

about things.  And she'd seen the way he'd looked at her.  She wasn't 

breathing right.  She couldn't handle hearing that from him.  Not 

like this.  Not when she was lying to him about so much… Not when it 

was like this.  Not when she couldn't say it back.  She couldn't 

breath right.  She couldn't handle this.

Still not noticing, he simply pulled her closer to him, his arms 

around her.  He placed a gentle kiss on her neck, and then was silent.

Buffy kept her eyes closed.  She didn't move for the rest of the 

night.

`````

The next morning, Angel had already gone upstairs to his office when 

Buffy woke up.  She pushed the thoughts of his words aside for the 

moment.  It was clear to her now that she'd have to tell him.  Soon.

Tonight.

`````

She was filled with a sense of nervous anticipation that excited her 

and scared her.  Nervously, she adjusted the straps on the nightgown 

she wore, then pulled on a matching robe.  A cream colored silk and 

lace number that she'd found when she'd gone shopping with Cordelia 

one time.  She glanced around the room, making sure she hadn't 

forgotten anything, then picked up the lighter from the table by the 

bed.  

A little nervous, she lit the candles that she'd bought and placed 

all over the room, and started the CD player.  Sarah McLachlin would 

do fine.  

She lit the last one and tossed the lighter in a dresser drawer.  

Tonight would be the night.  She was going to tell him.  Everything.  

Who she was, what she was doing there… and that she loved him.

Of the choices, the last would be the hardest to say.  She'd closed 

herself off from people so many times, she hadn't actually said those 

words to anyone… since they'd broken up, anyway.

It had been a long time coming.

In the kitchen, she heard the timer go off.  Swearing, she hurried in 

there to save the steaks she'd been trying to cook for their dinner.  

Smoke was coming from the oven.

"No, no, no!" she muttered, and hurried to open it.  She began 

coughing as the smoke flew up in her face, and she backed away, 

waving at the smoke.  Then the pot on the stove with the noodles in 

it began over flowing.  "No!" she exclaimed, and searched the kitchen 

for some kind of pot holder thing.

Then she felt Angel behind her, and he gently pushed her out of the 

way, grabbed a towel off the counter and saved the steaks.  At the 

same time with his other hand, he flipped the burner off and pushed 

the pot onto a different one.

That done, he faced her again, clearly amused.  "Dinner?"

"It was supposed to be." She said after a long moment.

He grinned at her and turned back to the food, cleaning up the mess.

Buffy sighed and sat at the counter.  "It's really sad that I can't 

even manage that."

He finished that and went over to her, smiling.  "It's the thought 

that counts."

She rolled her eyes.  Then they exchanged their traditional kiss, 

which distracted them for a while.  When the finished, Buffy was 

smiling a little.  "I don't think dinner's burned to bad.  And I did 

set the table pretty,"

He smirked and ran his hands down her sides.  She shivered a little.  

He kissed the side of her neck.  "I don't know about you," he 

murmured, untying her robe.  "But I think dinner can wait."

"But I'm hungry," she protested weakly.  She had to tell him…

The robe slid to the floor as she stood up, his arms pulling her 

towards him.  "We can eat later." He told her, and kissed her again.

She sighed.  And she could tell him later.

`````

Later that night, Buffy studied Angel's sleeping form.  She didn't 

want to hurt him.  She had to tell him.  She had to tell him 

everything.  But she couldn't bring herself to wake him.  To tell him 

that she'd lied to him. 

Instead, she closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them 

again.  "I love you," she whispered, knowing he wouldn't hear her.  

And she placed a soft kiss on his mouth before settling down to try 

to sleep.

`````

The next time she was awake and conscious enough for any 

conversation, the clock read eight o'clock.  In the morning.  Angel 

was in the bathroom, showering.

As she debated whether or not to join him, he exited the bathroom, 

wearing only a towel.

She smirked as he dropped that and began dressing.  "Good morning to 

you too."

He glanced at her, saw the look on her face, and shook his head a 

little.  "There's nothing good about a morning that makes me get up 

and leave you here."

She smiled and sat up in the bed, raking her hair back out of her 

face.  He tossed her some of her clothes.  She frowned.  "In a hurry 

to see me dressed?"

He grimaced.  "Actually, yeah.  I've got a bunch of clients coming in 

this morning, and I don't need to be even later to work."

She sighed.  "Likely story."

But she got dressed.

And it was when he went in the kitchen to make her some toast that 

she realized she still had to tell him.

`````

The office was filled with the usual people, and Angel was stopped a 

dozen times on the way to his office.  But when he finally got there, 

it was worth it.  Buffy had gone ahead and she was already in there 

with his coffee.  She was chatting with Cordelia about Francis, 

James, and Sarah, who were all at school for the day.  

But when Angel entered, Cordelia went to business.  "You've got a ton 

of messages." She informed her boss.  "Most of them are from various 

girlfriends, but the rest are business ones."

Someone knocked on the door before Buffy could comment on that.  

Angel was relieved, but didn't dare say so.  "Come in," he called, 

switching on his computer.

His secretary, a fifty year old woman named May, opened the door and 

looked in worriedly.  "Sir, there's a few people here.  I think you 

need to meet them."

Frowning, Angel stepped out of the office, along with the two women.  

Doyle joined them immediately.  Several police officers stood in the 

lobby, waiting for them.  "Mr. O'Connor?" one asked, stepping forward.

"Can I help you?" Angel questioned.  Almost all of his employees had 

stopped working, and were watching with interest.

"My name's Detective White.  I have a warrant to search your 

offices." The man answered, handing him a paper.

Cordelia set down her coffee cup.

"For what reason?" Angel questioned tersely.

"At the moment, we aren't allowed to reveal this.  If you could just 

ask your employees to allow my officers to do their job, we'll get 

out of your way as fast as we can."

Angel was bristling with rage, but he calmly glanced at the people 

around him.  "Step back and let them do their jobs."

The office was completely silent.

`````

Angel watched in silent fury as the police moved around in his 

office, taking boxes of his files, and papers.  Next to him, Cordelia 

and Doyle stood, just as furious.  Buffy stood somewhat behind them, 

horror etched on her face as she realized what was going on.  Bryan 

must have thought he'd found enough evidence… and now he was here, 

trying to destroy Angel.  Despite what she'd been trying to do to 

stop that from happening…

Angel turned slightly, and saw the look on her face.  He 

misunderstood it, thankfully, and moved to her side, taking her hand 

and holding it comfortingly.  He made no move to hold her.  She could 

tell he was too furious to do anything.  A part of her was grateful.  

Now she wouldn't have to add that to her guilt list.

"Call my lawyer." Angel told Cordelia curtly.  "Tell him I'm planning 

on suing the assholes who put this together."

Cordelia nodded stiffly, but her furious gaze never left the officers.

One of them, the older, chubby man who'd talked to them earlier, 

approached them, showing them his badge.  "My name is Detective 

White.  I apologize for this disturbance.  As soon as we've 

investigated everything, we will leave you."

"Detective White," Cordelia repeated, grabbing a pad of paper from 

her desk.  She scribbled the name down.

"Are you the officer in charge?" Angel asked coldly.

"Yes sir."

Angel nodded.  "Make sure that's noted." He told Cordelia, more to 

upset the man than out of necessity.

"Detective White," another cop said, joining them.  "There's a man 

downstairs who's with the FBI."

"He says his name's Pete Bryan."  Buffy paled.  No one noticed.  

Angel glanced at Cordelia, who was scribbling that name 

down.  "Doyle, tell all the employees that the office will be closed 

for the rest of the day.  If the police have any questions for the 

employees, cooperate by giving their names and addresses."

Buffy glanced at the stairway.  She could see Bryan as he came 

upstairs.  He saw her too.  Oh god, please, don't do this to me.  

Don't do this… please…

"Detective White." Bryan said coolly, glancing at the group.  He 

noticed the way Angel held Buffy's hand protectively, and her face 

was deathly pale.  Oh well.  She had known he was getting booked one 

way or the other at the start.  It was her problem, not his.  I'll 

just make it easier.  He looked at O'Connor, and was faintly 

surprised by the man's calm attitude at the moment.  Then again, he 

was a rich bastard, and no-doubt confident in his lawyer's power.  

Bryan just hoped the lawyers weren't Wolfram and Hart.  They always 

got the guys off. "Angel, Cord-"

"Mr. O'Connor." Cordelia corrected icily. "And Mrs. Doyle to you."

"Mr. O'Connor, then and, Mr. and Mrs. Doyle, Miss Summers.  You're 

looking a little ill, mam." He added, looking at Buffy.

Angel glanced at her, and stepped a little closer to her, an 

automatic protective move that Buffy responded to just as 

automatically, moving closer to him in return.  Bryan noticed that 

too.  He sighed.  "Detective White, I need to speak with you for a 

moment."

Buffy didn't move as Bryan and Detective White stepped away.  But 

when she saw the detective look over in surprise at her, she knew 

exactly what was going to happen.  And she would have done anything 

to stop it.  But before she could even move, White and Bryan 

returned.  Obviously, white wasn't as observant as Bryan.  He didn't 

seem to notice the way Buffy was clinging to Angel like there was no 

tomorrow.  "Congrats, Summers.  You really earned a promotion."  

Bryan said cheerfully, smiling at her like he'd done something to 

help her.

"Promotion?" Cordelia questioned sharply, getting a suddenly awful 

feeling.

Buffy couldn't breath.  She felt Angel stiffen beside her.  No, this 

isn't happening.  This isn't how it's going to happen. 

"For her investigative work here, checking this place out." White 

answered, oblivious to the shock this statement caused.  Bryan 

winced.  Buffy paled even more.  Cordelia looked at Buffy with 

shock.  Doyle did too.  Angel's expression didn't change, but he 

released her hand, turning to look at his lover's pale and taunt 

face.  "Buffy?" Angel questioned, his voice sounding very far away to 

him.

"No," Buffy said desperately.  "Not… not like that.  Angel, please 

listen to me,"

Angel stared at her, his face still blank.  He couldn't move as she 

looked desperately at him.  "I…I-"

"You've been spying on Angel." Cordelia said slowly, 

disbelieving.  "You…"

"No, it wasn't like that." Buffy said desperately.  No, this wasn't 

happening, this wasn't happening… "Angel, please.  It wasn't 

anything…"

"Sure it was." White said, facing them again.  "FBI involved and 

everything."

Angel's face went cold.  Cordelia took several deep breaths.  Then 

she dove at Buffy, who was staring at Angel as if she'd just seen a 

ghost.

Buffy barely felt the first punch hit her, but she knew it did when 

she felt blood running down her face.  The second one was blocked by 

Doyle, who grabbed his wife from behind.  Buffy didn't move.  Doyle 

managed to restrain Cordelia, and dragged her into one of the other 

offices.  "Angel, please."  Buffy said quietly, barely even noticing 

the other couples absence.

"Get out." Angel said even more softly, distantly.  "And don't ever 

come back."

"Angel, no, you have to let me tell you-"

"Get. Out." Angel repeated, his eyes ice cold, and his expression 

furious.  "Don't come back.  If I ever see you again…" he couldn't 

finish.  Instead, he stared at her for a long moment, then turned and 

went to join Cordelia and Doyle.  He closed the door behind him.

And Buffy was left to stare after him, unable to plead her case, 

unable to scream, yell, or even beg forgiveness.  Instead of trying 

any of that, she slowly turned away, and went downstairs.  She 

climbed in her Porsche, and drove off.  She did not stop until she 

arrived in Sunnydale.  Then she let herself into her apartment, and 

fell asleep sobbing.

````` 

Hours later, everyone had gone home.  Angel was in his bedroom, 

staring into the closet where just a few hours later, he and Buffy 

had been putting her clothes in with his.  A permanent, beyond lover, 

beyond girlfriend-boyfriend stage of their relationship.  And she'd 

betrayed him.  She hadn't been honest from the start.  She was a 

cop.  She didn't teach the self defense classes anymore.  She'd been 

assigned to get close to him, find out all his deep, dark secrets.  

He didn't have any that she didn't know.  But she had come anyway, 

and evidently, she'd found something that made it okay for the police 

to search his office.

Even the fact that she'd lied about what she was doing and all that 

would have been acceptable… But she'd made him love her again.  She'd 

probably have a hell of a laugh telling her cop buddies about that 

one.

This was worse than any other feeling he'd had in his life.

Betrayal by Buffy. Angel closed his eyes and immediately saw her 

beautiful face looking up at him with a smile on her face.  Lying 

little… he couldn't even finish the thought.  The pain he felt was 

too overwhelming.

She'd lied.  Everything she had said over the past month, it was all 

a lie.

Because some stupid jackass at her precious police office told her to 

do it.

She hadn't cared in the least that she'd screwed around with him, and 

all the words of love he'd whispered to her meant nothing.

Angel opened his eyes again.

It didn't matter anymore.  She was gone.  It didn't matter.

````` 

She'd been back for two days.  No one would have even known it if 

Willow hadn't come by to water the plants one day, and found her 

lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling.  Even then, Buffy had 

just looked at Willow for a moment, then turned on her side and 

closed her eyes.  Willow had immediately known something was wrong.  

Out of habit, she turned on the TV to fill the place with noise while 

she hurried to make Buffy some tea.  The news had come on, and Buffy 

turned and stared at the TV, a lost look on her face.

Willow turned her attention to the TV as well.  The FBI had evidently 

raided a place.  Angel Investigations.  Special thanks was given to 

an unknown assistant, who Willow knew with sudden clarity was Buffy.  

Angel was found innocent.  His company was threatening to sue.  They 

showed pictures of Angel exiting the offices, his expression 

unusually grim.  He ignored the reporters.  But there was pain on his 

face that was obvious to the few that knew him.

Willow stared at the TV in shock, then at Buffy.  She had sat up, and 

now she had curled up into a tiny ball.  "Buffy," Willow said, going 

to her side.  "What happened?"

Buffy looked at her, and for the first time, Willow noticed the tears 

on her face, and Buffy's eyes, which hadn't looked so sad in fifteen 

years… Her shoulders shook with grief as she cried.  Willow sat next 

to her friend, and could only hold her hand as she sobbed.

````` 

Angel stared at the pictures on the mantel.  One from years ago, the 

other from just that last week.  Bitter rage went through him, and he 

grabbed the two pictures and threw them in the trash.  She'd betrayed 

him for the last time.  He never wanted to see her again, or hear her 

name again, or to hear her wonderful voice say "I love you" again…

Angel glared at the pictures in the trash, then he grabbed a bottle 

of whiskey from the bar.  He decided that he was suddenly very 

thirsty for the stuff.

`````

"I guess that she was gonna tell him that night, but he distracted 

her." Willow told Xander, Anya, and Oz quietly.  "And then that 

morning, they came and raided the place, and then one of the cops 

spilled about what she'd been doing."

"And he kicked her out," Xander finished, sighing as he leaned back 

in the chair.  "Man."

Willow closed her eyes.  "The worst part is that she knows he was 

right to do it.  She just feels so guilty about everything, and she 

won't even try to get a hold of him, to try to explain."

Oz looked at his wife sadly.  "Unfortunately, I doubt it would 

matter.  Both of them… well, it's not of the good."

"No, it's not," Willow agreed.

Anya sighed.  "I hate to say it, but he was very right to kick her 

out.  She had just spent a month lying to him, and if you look at it 

from Angel's point of view, well, it's all very obvious."

The others exchanged looks.  It was clear, despite the fact they all 

supported Buffy, she had done very wrong.

`````

It took another week before Buffy was left alone again.  She was a 

changed woman.  No longer did she give the kids bright smiles when 

they walked in the room, no longer did she drag Willow shopping every 

weekend.  Now, when the kids came in, she just looked at them with 

dull and hurt eyes.  She refused to go shopping.  Even when she left 

the house, every time she saw a shadow move, she turned, expecting to 

see him, looking at her with his soft smile.

And every time she didn't see it, she seemed to sink deeper into 

depression.  She tried calling him, but every time he hung up as soon 

as he realized who it was.

After another three weeks, she was still depressed.  And it didn't 

help that she started getting sick in the mornings when she got up.

That part just made her very afraid.

It was almost a month after she returned that she finally got the 

courage to go to the doctors.  She was still sick every time she woke 

up, and she knew why.  She just didn't want to believe it.

But Willow and Anya finally managed to drag her to the doctor's, also 

knowing what was wrong with their friend.

Their suspicions were confirmed when Buffy got a phone call the 

morning after the appointment.

Buffy was pregnant again.

And this time, the father of the child would not be happy about it.

`````

Less than an hour later, Buffy entered the offices where she'd been 

told Pete Bryan was at, found him, punched him, and walked out, her 

mission complete.

`````

April, 2015

Sitting across from Willow, Buffy stared at the phone.  She was 

deathly pale, and felt like she was facing an execution.  Next to 

Willow, Anya sat, watching her curiously.  "Get it over with," Anya 

said quietly, firmly.

Buffy looked at her for a moment, then picked up the phone.  She 

dialed the numbers from memory.  It rang several times before a 

strange woman answered.  "Angel Investigations," she said, her voice 

low and husky.  "Sharon speaking."

"I need to speak with Mr. O'Connor."

"May I ask who's calling?" Sharon questioned, sounding not in the 

least bit interested.

"Buffy Summers."

Sharon's voice changed then.  She sounded cold and angry.  "Mr. 

O'Connor has asked me to tell you that if you ever call here again, 

he will get a restraining order against you.  He is not in the least 

bit interested in what you have to say."

Before Buffy could argue in the least, the woman slammed the phone 

down.

Buffy stared at the phone, numb.  Willow looked at Buffy 

worriedly.  "Well?"

Unable to say anything, Buffy just hung up.  She was quiet for a long 

moment, before she could look at them.  "He doesn't want to speak 

with me."

The other two women exchanged looks.  "Oh."

`````

Willow tried to call Angel next, after she got home.  She actually 

managed to get through to speak with him.  

"Willow," Angel greeted her, somewhat coldly.

"Hi Angel," Willow said, uneasy with his voice.  He sounded scary, 

she admitted to herself.

"I sincerely hope you aren't calling to try to talk about what I 

think you are." Angel said, knowing that she was.

"Angel, Buffy didn't mean to…" she trailed off when she heard the 

distinctive click of the phone on the other end being hung 

up.  "Well," she said aloud to herself.  "That went well."

Oz, who had seated himself next to her, squeezed her hand.  

`````

Buffy stared at the picture of her and Angel, silent.  It had been 

one month exactly since she'd left.  Two days since she'd found out 

she was pregnant with his child.  One day since she'd tried to call 

him.

And today was the day that she'd start her new life.  She made up her 

mind that she wouldn't call him again.  She wouldn't even think about 

him again.  She would just move on.  She would raise the babies on 

her own, and maybe with help from her friends.  She'd tried to tell 

him.  He hadn't let her.  So he'd never know.  

Every time she got to that part in her thinking, she couldn't help 

but hate that part.  She had to tell him!  But she also knew that she 

didn't want to.  Not when she knew he didn't care about her, and her 

child.  She would do this on her own.  She had to.  Maybe, after the 

baby was a few years older, she could go to LA and see him again, and 

say, "Hey Angel, guess what.  I got pregnant by you, and you were to 

furious with me to talk to me, so I couldn't tell you."

Buffy snorted.  Fat chance.

But that didn't matter.  She would move on.  She couldn't forget 

about him, but that wouldn't stop her from trying.

`````

Almost another full month passed before anything important happened.  

Buffy's mood changed had been noticed by all.  She was back to how 

she'd been before this most recent LA trip.  Except for her eyes.  

Her eyes still held the miserable sadness that would not go away, no 

matter how many jokes Xander told, or how many times the kids made 

her laugh.

Of course, all of the pain and hurt came back after a doctor's 

appointment in late April.

Everyone had gathered at the Summer's house, planning on celebrating 

Elizabeth, Willow and Oz's little girl, her tenth birthday party. 

Buffy had already told them she would be late.  But when she was over 

an hour later than what she'd predicted, Willow was starting to get a 

little worried.  But then Buffy had showed up, carrying an envelope 

for Elizabeth, and wearing a horrified and frantic expression.

By the end of the party, when the kids were all outside playing 

games, Buffy had dropped the latest bombshell.  She was pregnant with 

twins.

`````

Six months after the breakup, July

LA Mall

Buffy, Willow, Oz, Xander, Anya, and their kids walked around the 

mall, smiling and chatting about nothing important.  Buffy, as she 

had for the past few months, had a fake smile on her face, and her 

hand rested on the bulge in her stomach.

"We'll have to go by the maternity stores," Willow said, walking next 

to Buffy.  "I saw the cutest little sundress that you could get, and 

it's perfect for your mom and Giles' party."  The older couple were 

having a party to celebrate fifteen years of marriage, a grandchild 

on the way, and to keep Buffy distracted from thinking about the 

first baby she'd been pregnant with, and the fact that she'd lost it 

fifteen years earlier, on the day of the party exactly.

Buffy knew that was the reason for it, but she didn't care.  She was 

too distracted by imagining her baby, and what the child would be 

like without a father.  She still hadn't been able to find Angel, and 

she'd pretty much given up on it.  He wouldn't care anyway.  He 

couldn't give a damn about her or the child if she begged him to.  

Not that he should, but…

"Hey Buff, you hungry?" Xander asked hopefully.  He and Oz were 

arguing about everyone and when they should eat lunch.  Xander wanted 

to eat right then, and Oz wanted to wait.  And Xander knew that 

pregnant women were always hungry.  After all, he'd gone through it 

three times.

Buffy nodded, smiling.  "Food.  I want something chocolate with 

pickles."

"Ew." Xander said after a moment.  But it was better than some of 

Anya's cravings.  Hot dogs and baklava.  Ice cream and french-fries 

and catsup.  "How `bout you kids?" he questioned, glancing at the 

Osborn and Harris children.

"I am, Daddy!" Rebecca said happily.  "I want chocolate too."

"Smart kid," Buffy murmured, amused.  

"She is.  She knows Xander's a softie, and he'll probably go for 

it."  Willow said, also amused.  "Danny, Lizzie, tie you shoes.  And 

then, Lizzie, quit picking on your brother."

"But mom," Lizzie whined.

Oz sent her a look.  She was quiet again.

"Let's go to that café over there," Anya suggested.  "We can get real 

food and Buffy can have chocolate and pickles."

"Goody." Buffy said, agreeing.

The group started over to the small place, still talking and laughing 

freely.  Buffy was leading the group in there, and she glanced back 

at Willow to comment on her friend's smart-ass remark.  Then she 

bumped into someone.  "Oh, sorry," Buffy said, facing the man, who 

was holding a child.  "I wasn't paying atten…"

Angel stared down at her for a moment, the smile that had been on his 

face fading fast.  He looked down at her, farther down.  Her hands 

went to her stomach, as she realized what it looked like.  Slowly, he 

set Sarah down and she ran to Doyle, who was right behind him.  "Hi 

Aunt Buffy."  Sarah said happily, not really noticing the tension as 

she was picked up by her father.

Cordelia and Doyle, who'd been right behind him, moved to either side 

of him.

The rest of the group that accompanied them went absolutely silent, 

realizing what was going on. Xander picked up his youngest, 

Rebecca.  "How far along are you?" Angel asked icily.  Buffy.  

Pregnant.  Oh god, she was pregnant.  She was right there.  Buffy.  

Pregnant. 

"Six months." She answered dully.  He had to ask?  He thought she'd 

already gone and…

"January." Angel surmised.  "Thanks for telling me," he added after a 

moment, furious.  "But you're good at keeping secrets, aren't you?"

Buffy flinched.  "You never let me explain." She couldn't look at 

him, so she looked down.  She saw her stomach, and looked away again.

"What's there to explain?" Angel questioned angrily, but his face was 

blank again.  She'd never told him…

"Um," Willow said softly, "Hi, Angel.  Um, we're gonna get the kids 

lunch," she told Buffy, pretty much wanting to get out of there 

before her kids saw two really pissed people.

"We'll join you." Cordelia said coolly, and she gathered up her kids 

and Doyle, and followed the Scoobies over to the café.

Neither Buffy nor Angel really noticed.  "There's a lot to explain." 

Buffy said quietly.

"Unfortunately, I doubt I want to hear it." Angel said, looking 

pissed again as he started to move past her.

"Get over it." Buffy said quietly.  "Guess what.  I'm pregnant.  

You're the father."

"How do I know it was me?" Angel questioned, knowing without a doubt 

that she wouldn't lie to him, not about that, but just wanting to 

hurt her.  Like she'd hurt him.

It worked.  "It is." Buffy said trying not to feel so wounded that he 

actually believed that.  "And if you don't believe me, then fine, 

don't.  I can raise our baby on my own."  She moved to go past him, 

to just get out of there before she broke down crying again.  "Excuse 

me."  She was having a horrible time breathing, and she knew she was 

going to start crying.

Angel caught her arm.  In a very ungentlemanly manner, he grabbed her 

arm and pulled her off to one of the less populated parts of the 

mall, where her friends couldn't see her.  His fingers dug into her 

arm, but she refused to let it hurt.  She let him take her over to a 

bench, and when he released her, she sat down in the most dignified 

manner she could get herself to.  It wasn't very dignified.  Being 

twice her normal size made things a little bit harder.

Angel stayed standing in front of her, his arms at his sides.  She 

was pregnant.  With a child.  And she hadn't told him.  "Fine.  

Explain why the hell you did all this."

Buffy looked up at him for a moment, then looked down.  "In January, 

a guy named Pete Bryan, a big shot with the fibbies, I mean, FBI, 

showed up.  He told me that, due to my connections with you, I'd be 

perfect to do an undercover investigation of you.  He said that you 

were suspected of doing something illegal with the stock market to 

get as much money as you have.  I found out later that there was also 

a money-laundering thing that you were suspected of being in.  Well, 

I knew how you'd gotten your money, but it's not like I could tell 

them without them locking me up." She glanced at him for a moment, 

judging his dispassionate gaze, then looked away again.  "The whole, 

being two hundred plus and earning it over time doesn't really fly in 

the real world.  So, I agreed, not to find you guilty, but to find 

proof that you were innocent."  Angel looked more disbelieving now, 

and his eyes were filled with scorn.  "I also… I did it more because 

I wanted to make things right with us." She admitted 

quietly.  "Everything I said about feeling sorry and regretting the 

past years was true.  The only thing I lied about was the fact that I 

worked in the dojo still.  I've been a cop for fourteen years.  I 

haven't taught self defense in fifteen years."

Angel finally met her eyes.  "Money laundering."

Buffy shrugged. "I didn't know until after.  And the night before the 

whole raid, when we…" she didn't look at him.  "The last night, I had 

planned on telling you.  Pete figured that out, and he moved the raid 

up.  He didn't want you to know about it so you couldn't move 

anything out of your offices."  Buffy closed her eyes.  "I'm sorry 

Angel.  I never meant…I never wanted to hurt you again.  I was…" she 

closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and looked up at his 

dark eyes, which were still so unforgiving.  "Just forget it." She 

stood up and started to go down the hall, away from him.

His voice stopped her cold.  "Did you mean it?" Angel asked quietly.  

She turned, looking at him.  "What you said that last night.  Did you 

mean it?"

She turned away, her eyes misting.  "Always."  She was quiet for a 

moment, and when she met his gaze, her eyes showed the painful 

honesty in them.  "I've always loved you."

`````

 "They've been gone for a long time." Willow said unhappily.  "And 

Angel looked pissed."

"Can you blame him?" Cordelia snapped.  "She totally screwed him up, 

twice.  And this time it was worse than ever, `cause she didn't even 

tell him she was pregnant."

"She tried to." Willow defended her friend, a tinge of anger entering 

her voice.  "And it's not like he gave her a chance to."

"She doesn't deserve one!" Cordelia said, disbelieving.  "My God, she 

just showed up, convinced him she was sorry, and then he finds out 

she's been lying to him the whole time."

"You just want to find a way to blame Buffy for this." Willow said 

heatedly.

The two women glared daggers at each other, each furious.

Their husbands exchanged glances, then grabbed their wives 

hands.  "Come on, princess.  It's not your place to worry about it." 

Doyle said, kissing  

Cordy's forehead.

Oz stepped in front of Willow.  "Will, don't worry about it.  It's 

Buffy's business, really."

Xander sat on the edge of the table.  "It's none of our business.  

Buffy and Angel are both adults.  They'll work it out, and by 

tomorrow we'll be complaining about their PDA's."

Anya shook her head.  "Tomorrow they'll be at home, having lots of… 

fun." She had to change her sentence when she remembered the kids 

being around.

"Ew." Anna said, disgusted.  "That means sex."  The other kids looked 

disgusted too, except Daniel, the oldest Osborn child.  He was too 

busy trying to avoid his sister, Elizabeth, who was copying him.

"Lizzie, stop." Willow said, annoyed.  She looked at Anya.  "And I 

doubt that they'll be having… fun tomorrow."

Cordelia crossed her arms.  "So do I.  Angel's really pissed off with 

her."

"She said the `p' word!" Rebecca said gleefully.

Sarah giggled, seeing that her mommy swore.  James Lee Osborn was 

pointing one of his still chubby fingers at Cordelia too.

Cordelia sighed.  "Sorry."

"Maybe we should go find them." Willow said cautiously.

The rest of the group exchanged glances.  "I'll stay here and watch 

the kids," Oz offered.

"Me too." Anya said quickly.  

"I'll watch our brats." Doyle told Cordy, kissing her cheek quickly.

"I'm not a brat!" Doyle Jr. said loudly.  "I'm a munchkin."

"You are, hun." Cordy said, smiling tightly.  "We'll be back in a bit 

then."

"Be good." Doyle said automatically.

The three remaining adults watched as the others went off.

Anya snorted.  "Not likely."

````` 

Cordelia returned from asking the police officer about the couple 

with an odd expression on her face.  "They were just here.  The cop 

said that they left.  And they were looking kinda lovey-dovey.  His 

words, not mine."

Xander smirked.  "Told ya."

`````

"I love you." Buffy said softly as she lay next to Angel a few hours 

later.  She had her eyes closed, and she rested her head on his chest 

as he ran his fingers through her hair.  The other hand was resting 

on her stomach next to hers.

"I love you too, my love."  Angel said softly.  He felt kind of odd.  

Just yesterday, he had cursed her up and down the block, over and 

over again.  But here he was today, loving her and holding her.  And 

believing her.

It had taken a lot of pain to get to where they were, even at that 

moment, and he knew there was still so much more they had to worry 

about.  But he had finally realized he loved her too much to care.  

And he knew without a shadow of a doubt that she loved him the same.

"You think we should call Willow or Cordy or one of them to let them 

know we're all right?"

Angel kissed the top of her head, amused.  "Lover, if they haven't 

figured it out by now, they adopted all their kids."

Buffy smiled, amused too.  "I guess."  She rolled on her side, 

stretching, and used his chest and her forearms to make a pillow for 

herself.  "I'm so tired…"

Angel just smiled.  "That's not exactly a bad thing."

"No, it's not," Buffy agreed, her eyes half closed as she tried to 

look at him.  She became serious again, and took one of his 

hands.  "Do you really forgive me, Angel?" she questioned dubiously.  

"I do." Angel said softly.  "We've each made stupid mistakes in the 

past with each other, and you've forgiven me for mine, and I've 

forgiven you for yours."

Buffy sighed a little.  "I just… I guess I'm just afraid.  Of what 

might happen."

"I am too, lover." Angel said as she released his hand.  He rested 

his now free hand on the small of her back.  "But it doesn't matter 

anymore."

She smiled at him.  "No.  It really doesn't."

Then she closed her eyes again, and fell asleep in her lover's arms, 

and all was right in the world for the moment.

`````

The next morning

"Mmm," Buffy sighed as she entered the kitchen, wearing only Angel's 

robe.  Angel stood with his back to her at the stove, wearing a pair 

of sweatpants, and making pancakes for her.  She'd mentioned that she 

had a craving for them with pickles.  There was a jar of pickles on 

the counter.  Smiling, she came up behind him, and her arms encircled 

his waist.  "My hero.  Pancakes and pickles."

Angel turned, grimacing a little.  "You better like it.  It sounds 

completely disgusting."

"This from the man who likes strawberry waffles with chocolate 

sauce." Buffy said dryly.

Angel smirked.  "You didn't seem to mind the chocolate afterwards," 

he said pointedly.  "You even added the whipped cream."

"Wanna try it again?" Buffy questioned sweetly.

"Do I get the whipped cream this time?" he teased, kissing her 

sweetly as she wrapped her arms around his neck.  He picked her up, 

and she wrapped her legs around him.  She didn't let go when he set 

her on the counter.  He moved his hands down to undo the belt, and 

while one hand did that, the other slipped beneath the robe.

"That depends," Buffy said, a little breathless from their kiss, and 

the feel of his hands on her belly. "On if you're a good boy or not?"

"Which would you prefer?" he questioned huskily, tracing kisses down 

her throat, then lower towards the v-shape the robe made.  His hand 

was sliding down too.  

Her eyes were half-closed as she answered.  "The one that wants to-"

"Hi everybody!" Cordelia called from upstairs.  "We're here.  Get 

dressed.  We're coming down there, whether or not you're ready."